In The Mind Of Zig-Zag

Subject:	I swear I'm trying to post more
Time:	9:58 pm.
Mood:	exhausted.
Music:	King of the Hill.

Because I do want to record more of my life, but it's so hard to get myself motivated to turn the computer on or pick up a penicle to write in one of my journals.

I'm only really on the computer in the morning and it's a brief responding to emails and checking a site or two then it's off to work. Then after work it just feels like too much work to try to recall my day. Like right now. Had a really hetic weird/stressful/but thankfully time flying couple days at work. With campers being stupid. Campers being awesome. And work just being work. Not bad, but not good I guess either; but more hetic and stressful than usual. XD But in return it made the day go by so much faster.

XD Then again there is one thing that has been distracting me. WARPED TOUR!

The day after tomorrow my sister and I are headed to Darien Lake Amusement park and spending the first day at the park and the second listening to a bunch of bans. Then on the third day we're checking out an apparentment she's thinking about renting in Buffalo before heading home.

I can't wait! *Glee!*

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Subject:	Happy 4th of July! ...and I hate ice cream...
Time:	9:53 am.
Mood:	hungry.
Music:	Egor Snoring.

Okay. I don't hate eating ice cream. But I sure do hate selling it. XD

While I was on my two day break Cedar snuck down to my camp and put in an ice cream freezer. So we now sell pre-packaged ice cream.

At first I was excited. Ice cream at work? Hells yeah. On a hot day this was going to be sweet. XD In more ways then one! Until I realized what it also included... like how everything ended in weird numbers. Like... 2.19, 1.17 and such. So instead of working with bills and quarters we've now been thrown nickles, dimes, and pennies. Ew. Pennies. I liked it so much better when everything ended in 5s and 0s.

Not to mention I got this group of girls in who were super excited over the icecream. They kept coming up and going: I want this! So I'd plug the price into the calculator but when I looked up they were changing their minds. Gah.

Then they kept squirming around with their icecream so it became difficult to figure who had what and what did they take. How much each cost and gah. A mess. How annoying.

I think it would be easier if I could just add everything up on my register. But nooooooooooo. I can only punch in one ice cream at a time. I can't ring up more than one ice cream at a time. I have to hit. 1.52 + tax + NTH (which tells the register I'm selling an ice cream) = total. And do that over and over for each one I sell. It's frustrating.

Then I had this one guy who I call Needy Camper come buy ice cream. And yes... he's a VERY needy camper. Can't seem to be happy with anything. Wanted some branches cut down. We cut them down. They claimed they were happy. But next day we had to climb back up to cut more down. Then he needed an air pump. A huge ass air pump that weighs a ton and I had to drag it across the camp for him. And just gah.

So he came and bought five bars of ice cream with his wife. After I gave them their change he asked if I had a bag. I said that I was sorry but I didn't. I guess that was something they overlooked to give us when they brought the ice cream. Then he wanted a box. He started poking around the office looking for a box. I hate it when people invade my work space. Yes. You're allowed in the toll both but not under the god damn register. SHOO!

I said I was sorry but all of our boxes have stuff in it so. No. He couldn't have one. So he asked if I could empty one of the boxes holding a mountain of fliers for the parks so he could have that. -_- No, they'd be fliers everywhere. Dude. You live two feet away. You'll be FINE getting there. Which his wife finally talked him into understanding. And I watched them they had NO problem getting there. With his wife carrying two and him three. Was that really that hard?

Fuck you ice cream. Fuck you!

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Subject:	I'm not hiding on purpose... or am I?
Time:	8:14 am.
Mood:	content.
Music:	Quiet.

I guess this is a quick sorry to say I haven't be around much. I've been avoiding the internet and my LJ just a bit lately because I know if I come on most likely I'd start talking about Mooshy or Sally. Not nessarily a bad thing I know, but it's time for me to not 'get over it' but to move on. And signing on every day to talk about them is not going to help.

Of course the campers who came in the other day and when I asked them if they had a pet and that I would need the rabies tag number didn't help when they also told me: Why yes! We do have a dog! A border collie mix named Sally!

*cough* Sally?

Yes, sally.

*shifty eyes* Is her fur black?

No white.

Oh good I don't have to steal her then.

O_o

^_^ What you're licenes plate number?

Hehe. Fun times at work. Work is going well. Starting to get on my nerves a little bit I suppose because I don't feel like I'm helping as much as I could be. As I'm the one who has been getting stuck in the toll a lot to check people in. Granted it could be because I suck at Rock, Paper, Siccors but that's beside the point.

Looking forward to going to Warpped tour with Casey on the 16th. Man I can't wait.

( Read more... )

I had a fun little TMNT dream the other night before the cat woke me in demands of being fed. I was wandering around with the turtles. We had all somehow wound up back in time. Not a overly strange thing for the turtle universe. So I begain a rather detailed conversation with Leo about space time continum and tried to break his brain with the idea that somewhere far, far away Master Splinter was with Yoshi somewhere in Japan. I was doing a fairly good and complex job of making Leo's brain leak out his ear when Mikey distracted me to see who could best steal a pie.

( Read more... )

So there's a quick update on what's going on in my life. And I'm not sure how much I will/will not be around. Trying to be on a little more - but work makes it hard and the fact when I'm not at work I like to try to hang out with family or finish FF7 - I'm on disk two!

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Subject:	Youtube Firday!
Time:	9:18 am.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	Hoshi no Kirby opening!.

Lol. I had no idea what to post for youtube friday. I thought about doing something weird like posting a Micheal Jackson video but meh... I guess I can stop wishing for a surprise come-back where he'll put out an awesome CD and do some cool dance moves again. *cough* Poor Ferra really got outstaged yesterday didn't she?

So yeah, I feel bad for Micheal and Ferra but I'm not going: OMG HORROR over it because... I don't know them. Yeah they were stars but would they have cared if I died? Oh no. Okay - kidding not that mean. But what will the tabliods do now without Micheal! Damn... John and Kate must be pissed to lose their front page satus. Heh. And I think I'll post my video now before the fruit starts flying. I guess this is just my way to say that I think people care about stars personal lives way too damn much.

XD So instead enjoy this overly cute opening to Hisho no Kirby! (Aka Kirby of the Stars) It's the Japanese opening because the American version sucks ass and isn't cute. This is just BEYOND sugary cuteness!

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Subject:	She IS Nineteen Years Old!
Time:	6:45 pm.
Mood:	okay.
Music:	Quiet.

As you can probably imagin the last couple days I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not just about the two that have left us - but the two that are still here as well. I'm doing alright. I can start to think about Mooshy and Sally now without automatically crying sometimes. It's still weird to see my sister around the house without a ferret on her shoulder and I've been avoiding going into the cellar alone because I'm not yet ready to face it empty. I went down there with dad to get our fishing gear; but not yet ready to go by myself.

So it was while I was going out the side door instead of the basement to collect the wash off the line with Egor following behind me I wondered how old Sally had been. I was guessing somewhere between 13-14 because I knew Egor wasn't older than 15 and Egor is a year older than Sally was.

So after I got back into the house I pulled out their old paper work. Of course the two right on top was Sally's and Mooshy's paper work. Turns out Sally's birthdate was in Jan 97. So she was about thirteen and a half. Which made Egor fourteen. Since I was snooping about I pulled out Button's paper work because I knew her 19th birthday was coming up. Just couldn't remember if it was Aug or Sept.

Heh. Surprise on me. She was born in May. After looking at that I was surprised I had forgotten. I remembered making jokes about how I was born on May first so my cat and I could share the same birthday month years ago. I can't believe I had forgotten. Not only that but my cat did it. She made it to her 19th birthday - plus some. It's hard to believe how things turned out. If you had asked me at Chirstmas time how things would have gone I would have thought: Well, the cat won't make it to her 19th birthday. Sally will probably last another couple years. The ferret probably has at least another sleepy old age year left. And Egor will probably be the last to go.

I would have never guessed that it would be Mooshy with Sally following so closely behind. Casey and I have a little joke going that the cat is behind it all. That she's slowly trying to reclaim the house as hers. She's just acting sick so we don't suspect her. Probably not the funniest joke, but it helps us cope. We've always been an odd family.

So I'm doing alright. It's not ever going to be 100% better again. I'll probably always look down to see if the ferret is trying to escape when I enter Casey's room. It will be a long while before I stop thinking about if anyone has feed the dogS yet. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay that I had them in my lives for so long and that they were here to love me as much as I loved them. And I'm okay to move on. I'm okay to still go out and have fun. I'm okay to love the dog and cat that are still here. I'm okay. And I'm so okay... I think I'll go play some FF7.

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Subject:	Sally passed away
Time:	6:37 pm.
Mood:	sad.

Well the decision was taken out of our hands. When I came home from work I fed the cat then went downstairs to visit with Sally. I'm glad I didn't linger as long with the cat as I usally do as I didn't realize I was about to spend my last few minutes with Sally.

When I went downstairs Dad was just coming inside having just finished mowing the lawn. He said she had come out for a minute and then came back inside and he didn't know where she was. We looked for her and I found her laying next to the furance. She wasn't breathing quiet right and Dad asked us what Mom, Casey, and I had decided last night and I was explaining to him that we had decided to take her up Wenesday when we all had the day off to have her put down.

He went up to start dinner and I moved around the furance to get to where she was easier and sat down to pet her. I think she actually left as I was telling dad I would be up when dinner was done and I settled down beside her or she went shortly after I begain petting her. But after a bit I started to suspect she was gone.

I called her name a few times but got no response I tried to not get too worried yet as she's been depressed and doesn't always respond to all things. So I continued to pet her - slowly trying to feel for her chest moving which I wasn't sure if I was feeling or not. I didn't think I was but I didn't want to believe that. I kept telling myself I was just freaking myself out. I petted her a bit more than let my hand snake down to her tail and foot which always gets at least a: Why are you petting me there? look and then she usally moves her foot/tail away and then makes a goofy whine if you keep at it. She didn't respond. So then I shook her and called her name. Then I knew for sure.

I moved to the front of the furance again and saw her jaw was slack and her eyes were open but they weren't seeing anything. So I went up to let dad know. We agreed we were glad she went with me down there with her and not alone and even more that we didn't have to take her to the vets to do so. She hates the vets.

We've decided to wait a few hours before we call Casey after talking to mom and letting her know. Let her at least get out of work first. Dad and I got her out and dragged her closer to the door leading outside for when they take her to be cremated tomorrow. She's too big to burry. We found the cleanest blanket we could find and wrapped her in it and took her collar off.

I've never been so close to something dying before. It... kinda creeps me out, but I'm so very glad I was with her and not at the vets.

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Subject:	Why must pets get old?
Time:	10:53 pm.
Mood:	sad.

This has been a horrible summer for pets. Mooshy's passing. Button's stroke. And now we've set a date to take Sally in to be put down unless the vets pull out a merical cure. We're expecting the same result that happened when we took Mooshy in the last time.

I wish my pets weren't so old, sick, and injured.

Sally's been utterly depressed and nothing we do have helped. We visit with her and she'll even move away now and then. Sometimes she perks up. But she's just not Sally anymore. I use to think that even if you beat Sally she'd love you and be happy moments later - but now, now she never ever looks fully happy.

The depression she's suffering isn't our only reason for deciding this; but it is the biggest. She also got hit by a car some time back and hasn't ever fully recovered. She's falling down a lot more now and because of the depression it takes her longer and longer to get up. If at all.

Like today I planned on sitting down there with here again for an hour or so and reading a book while petting her. As I was going down dad handed me her bowl for dinner and I took it down. When I showed her the dinner she gave it one lick then turned her head away. I tried to encorage her to eat because she hasn't eaten well the last few days. She moved off and got a drink of water then laid down in a new spot. So I moved her dishe back to her and tried again to get her to eat.

Instead she got up and went outside. I followed her out and that's when I saw she was drooling. A lot. More than I've ever seen either of our dogs drool. And it was thick I think because it was a long line that was dripping down her mouth. Then she dry heaved before heading under a pine tree and collapsing there. I tried to coax her out and get her out of the rain but she wouldn't even look at me. That hurt. Dad eventually got her in a bit later by tempting her with a hotdog.

So she's obviously not feeling well and painfully not happy. And it just so happened that we all have Wenesday off so... yeah.

Dad and I had plans on going fishing Tuesday at the park I work at. Maybe I can talk him into taking Sally - if we can get her into the car. A one last hooray so to speak for her. I had always hoped our animals would just go in their sleep. It's hard to have to make the choice to end a life.

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Subject:	Dreams DO come true!
Time:	9:20 pm.
Mood:	excited.
Music:	Commercials.

So mom and I were headed up to the city to visit my grandfather in the hospital. He's doing great. He went in to do a pre-surgery appointment (having his gal bladder removed) and found his heart was beating double what it should be.

Eep. Not good.

He's now on blood thinners and it could have been bad if they hadn't caught it. So thank god they did. On the way we were going to pass a comic book shop one of my sister's friends actually told me about. We went in just for the fun of it and started browsing. I went down the line looking for some TMNT comics.

Walked down slowly going through the S's when suddenly right on top pulled out I was surprised to find... XD TMNT comics! *glee!* Turned out the guy had pulled them out for someone else a few days ago.

God I wish I knew who that was. Hmmmhmm.

He had a bunch of Archie comics and only a couple Mirage ones. At 2.50 each I took the rest of the Mirage comics. *cough* So I got books 16-21. XD So most of return to New York.

Yay! My first TMNT comic buy! Now maybe I'll stop dreaming about buying TMNT comics... it would also be nice if there was more places like that in Watertown. There's no good place to be a geek and nerd here.

And mini kitty update! She's doing SO much better. She's walking normally again on the floor. Still needs a ramp to get on the bed. Still can't get that far and has a little trouble walking on the bed but otherwise she's doing very good and I'm so relieved. The only thing we're worried about now is she hasn't had a good bowl movement in awhile. We're a little nervous that maybe the attack shut down what little was left of her kidneys.

Still a waiting game because she's still acting normal. Not acting in pain or anything so. *Crosses fingers she'll go potty soon*

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Subject:	snore
Time:	8:36 am.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	Kitty snoring.

So I've gotten into the habit of checking to be sure Buttons is breathing when I enter the room. I know I don't have much time left with her. Probably not a full year but who knows. Since the stroke/blood clot/whatever the hell happened I've been kinda waiting for something to happen.

One of these days I'm expecting to either come into my room to find her in pain or to see her chest has stop rising and falling.

-_-;; I didn't have to worry about that today. As I tiptoed towards my bed to check on her what do I hear? Snoring. My cat I swear has one of the cutest snores. It's a mix of a snore and a purr. XD I think she's alright for at least another day.

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Subject:	More on the kitty
Time:	8:21 am.
Mood:	busy.
Music:	Quiet.

Seeing as she woke me numberous times last night in demand for food and petting it's giving me a little more hope again. A big part of me fears this is really a false hope but I'm trying to ignore that bit.

And she's happy because I actually get up now in the night to feed her rather than ignore her. IN BED even because I don't want her jumping more than she has too.

...I think she may be takening advantage of it actually...

And I discussed it with mom. We will hold up taking her to the vets for a week or two to see if she improves/how she does. We've got a plan set should she get a blood clot somewhere else. If she starts acting in pain and only dad is home, he'll call me and mom and we'll come home as fast as possible. Whoever gets home first will take her up. I'd like the body back. It's morbrid but it feels better to have a plan.

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Subject:	A bit better
Time:	10:34 pm.
Mood:	exhausted.
Music:	King of the Hill.

I'm feeling slightly more hopeful now. I was looking up different things on cat problems online. From the sounds of it she probably either had a stroke or something they call Saddle Thrombus. (Curious to know more? Here's one of the links I looked at I found most helpful: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060903202442AAD6VRO)

From other sites that I've read from it seems like she has a 50-50 chance of possibly improving. Many cats where able to re-adjust their balance and figure out how to walk again. Granted most of these cats weren't a couple months from being 19. But my cat has a rather long history of recovering from things she shouldn't have survived with little to no help. But then again other cats have looked to be recovering and then suddenly crashed and had to be put down if they didn't pass on the way to the vets.

Then other cats showed NO improvement at all. Other cats didn't survive past the the stroke happening.

.....or it could be an inner ear infection.

I plan to talk to mom about this in the morning. About possibly taking her into the vets to have her ears checked to see if it's the ear infection. If it's not hear what the vets have to say, but I'm thinking now I'd like to at least give her a week to see if she can work on re-finding where her balance is now.

Hm... maybe I can talk to dad about making some sort of ramp or step for her. Right now I just have a footstool that's half the size of my bed. Just a little something to give her a hand.

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Subject:	It use to be a good day...
Time:	8:02 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	Rosanne.

I do believe Button's days are numbered less than a week. After coming home from work dad let me know that she wasn't acting right. He had to carry her up the stairs after she went out for a little bit earlier. She's walking around as if VERY drunk and falling now and then.

Mom and I are suspecting some sort of stroke or nerve damage of some sort. As it's not just one leg. It's normally her back ones but a couple times she's put her front foot down and just fell foward.

Mom and I discussed when we should take her to the vets. It's a bad week because I really don't think I can handle taking her up on my own. I'd probably crash the car on the way home. So it's probably going to be Wenesday.

We want to give her a few days to see if she'll get better, but I'm not having very high hopes. I was starting to really hope she'd make it to her 19th birthday. It's hard to see her this way - it breaks my heart having to decided when to end her life but I don't think this is any kind of life. Not being able to walk or go to the bathroom well.

It's going to be a lonely night in my bed tonight. She can't get up here anymore I thought about making her some stairs but I know she wouldn't know what it would be there for. I know the vet last time said the next time she got sick it would happen fast and she would fall hard but I still wasn't quiet ready for it. I'm very grateful that I've had her these past few month. After all I could have lost her in Decemeber.

For now all I can do is make her comfy and keep my fingers cross that she'll get better. Or you know... she'll pass away in her sleep so I don't have to make the choice. I've never actually seen or decided to put an animal to sleep. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.

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Subject:	Never a dull day at Burnham
Time:	10:08 pm.
Mood:	relaxed.
Music:	King of the Hill.

On a more postive note work was really intersting today. Cedar being the lazy bunch they are were kind enough to chop up two of the three downed trees into large bunches for us. Which kinda sucks because our Gator is old and crappy. It can't haul as much as the tractor they had down there - and large truck. Took us a few hours to clear up the mess that the truck could have probably done IN an hour.

But because of that we had to go out to the feild to collect the extra branches we had a little adventure. Out in the feild we found two live traps and inside one was a very sleepy, sad raccoon.

We called Cedar to see if anyone was suppose to be setting traps in the park. Then called the number under the: Do not disturb - Rabies Vactionation Project. They informed us that yes the traps were ligit and that someone would be around daily to check them and take care of any animal that may be inside them.

We took pictures of the little guy. I named him Rocky and we left him alone to sleep. Poor guy had really dug down into the mud to try to get out of the cage.

Then while we were cleaning up the second tree we found a rather uh... AMUSING stump. It looked just like a pair of legs with a dick sticking out. We laughed rather hard. Hopefully pictures once I figure out how to get them off my phone and onto the computer.

Eventually a guy named Brandon or Brendon came by to give the raccoon his vactionation. He let us watch and also told us something else. Rocky was lactating so he had babies somewhere. Opps. So Rocky became Roxanne. Lol. He cornered her in the cage and managed to give the shot alright, but when he tried to tag her ear she snarled and it took awhile for him to get her ear without her biting him. She came really close one time. It was cool to watch but I could NEVER do something like that! I'd be way to neverous!

So either way... never a dull day at Burnham Point. XD I wonder if anything will be in the cages tomorrow as he re-baited them with marshmellows and some really sweet smelling stuff. Who knows?

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